Selfishness?

A while ago, I read or I was told ( I can't remember which, I'm an old lady after all LOL) that if you are a long distance runner, you must be a selfish person. A long distance runner must be selfish because they spend so long away from their families running, 2 or 3 hours at a time or more.  After a run like that they must be so tired they can't do anything else with their family. Everything revolves around their training, how their body feels, what they eat and especially in the case of ultra marathoners, their support network.

Hmmmmm.

So to me it means that if I choose to follow my goal of running my first marathon, I will be a selfish person. Because I run.

And apparently I have been told last year ( and blogged about it) that by following my healthy lifestyle in eating and using mainly whole foods, I was 'abusing' my children by not letting them go to McDonalds and 'making' them run funruns.....both of which are false. So now, not only am I selfish for running and following a goal but now I am a child abuser.

But wait!  There's more!

When I started doing a weight program through Lean and Strong on the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation, lots of opinions came out of the woodwork then....I am turning anorexic because I don't need to lose weight, going to gym following the program meant I am obsessed and that I will turn into a man with all those muscles and lose my husband to a real woman.

Sooo....I am now a selfish, abusive, anorexic, obsessive, manlike, abandoned woman......all for changing my lifestyle from sedentary to healthy.

Let's look at this a different way.

I am me, and always have been.  Still the same but my priorities have changed. I have one body that has to last me as long as I live so I might as well make it a good one. Taking care of myself isn't selfish, it's smart. On the plane what's the first thing they tell you in an emergency?  Put your own face mask on first then look after others.

If I don't look after myself, I get sick. That stops me from looking after my family and doing things with them. I'll be unfit and not be able to keep up with my family. In time, I'll be too embarrassed to go out because I look so fat...and miss out on my family.

When I DO look after myself, I feel good.  I feel great.  When I run, I work out my frustrations and irritations that could mean a massive blowup if I don't get rid of it.  Some people use meditation or medication, I run. Calmer wife, calmer life....

I set an example and my children and family do not miss out. I arrange my workouts around my family and my long runs are only one day a week, not such a big deal when I could be equally as 'distant' from my children in my own house, on the computer, in a book, watching television. I have balance between myself, my family and friends and work.

My children learn HOW to look after themselves through watching me.  Parents are the greatest educators of their children and we are raising the next generation of adults. Thats something a lot of parents have lost sight of, the emphasis is on raising children and now we have a helluva lot of 20-30 year old children.....very few 20-30 year old adults. The best way children learn is through watching and copying.  So what are they copying?

My personal opinion....I think it is selfish to NOT look after yourself. It is selfish to eat what you want and get sick and expect others to look after you.  It's selfish to sit on your backside in front of the television and not enjoy the life you have been given.  It's selfish to raise another generation up to inaction and whininess when things are uncomfortable and to feed them food low in nutritional value.

It's selfish to blame others for your inability to eat better and live better.

So I guess the question is....which selfishness do we choose?