My new mantra for this round. COMPLETE not COMPETE.
I've signed up for Lean and Strong. I did that last year and loved it, especially at the beginning. I felt STRONG! I was learning what my body could do! I was succeeding!
Then the photos started coming in.
The pics were amazing. Gorgeous, fantastic, inspirational men and women showing off their hard work....me included. But then that nasty little voice in my head got involved.
" She's got way better abs than you."
" No way you'll ever get definition like that."
" You don't belong in this group, you're don't look as good as these guys"
And on and on.
It destroyed me. I gave up. The self hate came back, all because I was comparing and my natural competitiveness was rearing it's unhelpful head. The stupid thing was it was all LOOKS I was basing my comparison on. When it came down to weights I was comparable or outlifting some of these people. When it came down to getting the job done, I was exactly the same as all these people...we were all working hard.
But I let the self talk win.
This round.....I've changed my focus.
It's all about getting the job done. I am able to do the work. I have the knowledge that everyone develops differently....like in weightloss, everyone loses differently even if they do the same thing. Our bodies all behave differently. So hating myself because I am unique is counterproductive and blinds me to the things I should be proud of, what I can achieve and my own personal bests. I can cheer on everyone else's achievements then without that little tang of bitterness " I could never be that good"...because my main goal this round is NOT to be the best out of everybody.
It's to be the best out of me.
COMPLETE the program to the best of my ability and self discipline. And leave the COMPETE side alone.
Because when you compete against yourself, you're already a winner.