'It's just...'

When did those two words....'It's just...' enter my vocabulary?

As in 'It's just a 5 k run.' or 'It's just a quick 60 minute run.'

Looking back, I would NEVER have imagined saying that.  In fact I spent 99% of teenage life on the couch.

In my 20's I walked, but only if I had to go somewhere because I didn't have my driving license and couldn't be bothered waiting for the bus.

In my 30's I walked to 'get fit' because after 4 babies, the old body wasn't snapping back the way it used to and besides, walking was healthy yeah? Not running, running is bad for your knees and hips and kidneys and your eyeballs might jolt out.

I remember well my first funrun. I thought I was going to die, I believe I prayed for death several times.  I sounded like a steam train and couldn't walk for days afterwards. That was an 8k run, and it took me well over an hour of pain, breathing through what felt like a sock filled with wet concrete.  Never again I vowed, I am clearly not made for running.

Well I was clearly suffering memory problems because I did do another funrun, 5k. It was....better but nothing to sing from the mountaintops.  Then a 10k run....back to never wanting to run ever again.  I even thought because I was short, it meant I couldn't run...don't have the legs for it, see?

Then came the big FOUR OH....yep turning 40. I was determined to do something big before I turned 40, so yep, I signed up for a half marathon a month before my birthday.  What training did this involve?  A few half hearted 10k runs, if I can run 10, I can run 20, it's just double right?

I hit the wall at 18kms in that run.  I was passed by a woman who had a stroke and told me she had to learn to walk again so she decided she might as well learn to run. I was passed by the elderly, by prams, by smartarse children. When I crossed that line in a daze and feeling like death....I said NEVER AGAIN.....about two hours after I could actually speak and breath again without moaning.

So today, doing my long slow 20k training run for my next half marathon (yep, definitely memory problems there) and talking about plans for training for the full marathon (yep, tick the delusional box) I caught myself saying out loud, " Yes I went for a run through the week but IT WAS JUST 6 kms. And after next weeks long run we have JUST a little 10 K-er to run before the Big Day"

What the HELL did I just say?

5 years ago I was convinced if I ran my eyeballs would pop out, I'd lose a kidney and be crippled for life. Running a whole kilometre would put me in hospital.

10 years ago, a leisurely walk to the shops chatting with a friend counted as exercise and barely raised a sweat.

20 years ago, walking to the bus stop would be the total exercise for the WEEK.

25 years ago, what is this word, exercise? And can you move? You are blocking  Bon Jovi on Video Hits.

And today....today 3 weeks out from a 21.1 km race, I ran 20 km and felt like keeping on going. I ran for over 2 hours at a relaxed, chat-worthy, Queen singing ( scaring tourists and cyclists alike) Yarra river rower perving pace, throwing in the odd Footloose or Eye of the Tiger dance and felt GOOD.

 Michael, you DO know how I feel.

I have gone from not being able to run, to half dying in an 8k run, to never wanting to run a 10k again, to never EVER running another half marathon to running almost a half marathon in training and looking forward to a full 42.2K marathon. Who knew?  Who would have ever believed it? Not me. Not then and sometimes, not even now.

And now it has become a little like the words of my lovely running buddy Theresa, "I won't get out of bed for anything less than a 10 K run." LOL