Respect.

It is with huge sadness I see the news on Margaret Thatcher's death.  Not for her passing so much, as we are not connected in any way, but in the way some people are choosing to celebrate her death. And inside, I am shocked that people would take open delight in someone's death to the point they cannot even pay a little respect to the passing of their life.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/2013/04/09/09/54/parties-break-out-to-celebrate-thatcher-s-death


But why should I be shocked?  Respect is something that has been diminishing over the 40 years I've been alive, and I'm sure others older than me would see a far greater difference. It had me wondering why and then it hit me.

We can't even respect ourselves anymore. There is no self respect.

I can speak with authority on this....as I had no self respect. I joined in parties and drank myself stupid. I made stupid mistake after stupid mistake. I stayed in a violent marriage for five years.  I ate crap food constantly until my health was affected. Those are just a few.

I didn't think enough of myself to walk away from any of those things until it was almost too late.


Now, I see things very differently, and it was through the 12 WBT program that changed that. Just think, it took me 39 YEARS to finally find my own self respect. 39 YEARS before I thought I deserve more for myself than what I was doing, that I deserved to stop harming myself in a myriad of ways and start to look after myself.

Self respect means to believe in your own worth and dignity.

Easy to say but hard to do! Believe in myself? Believe I am worth something and of some value to others? I had no idea. But I found it accidentally along the way.  When I started caring for my health through watching what I ate and learning how my body felt while moving and exercising ( and after exercising.....day after workout pain anyone?) I found self respect.  When I started using self discipline, my self respect began to grow. My confidence grew and I remember the day I finally looked, REALLY looked at myself in the mirror.....and could meet my own eyes.

Self respect has made looking after myself a joy, not a chore.  It has made me achieve and recognise more than I ever did before.  It has given life with meaning to what was before merely existence, a waiting out my days until it was time to die.  It has brought me true happiness.

This has been my greatest lesson learned and one I am passing on to my children...not through words but through my actions. You see if I want a change to happen, a change in  the level of respect in the world, it has to start with me.  If I don't have self respect, how can I have respect for anything or anyone else?